My schedule is like so bombed with activities for the past week and this week. I don't think I can handle that much. The solution in my mind was just to run away. It only seems to be the best way I can cope with this situation.

I promised to commit back to church after my O' Levels but I just can't go with the flow. They are having VBS (Vacation Bible School) for the past week and this week. It requires you to stay in church for the whole day, 12pm-6pm, and all you do is there listening to the pastor whose on the stage preaching and copying down the notes. The breaks are far too short to relax my mind.

Kenichi came to Singapore and I've got to entertain him, its just returning his favor. When I was in Malaysia he brought me around. However, his coming clashes with with my VBS. What's made worst is that what he said really makes me stucked in between. He told me that he only knows me and he came to Singapore just because of me. This way, I felt that if I don't accompany him for this 5day trip, it'll become a let down to him. I don't wish to hurt anyone.

Lastly I want to tell this to the person whose waiting for me. Please don't give me pressure anymore. I'm so stressed. I know that you have been emotional recently, but I can't do anything. I just wanna tell you that I don't really feel anything at the moment. I just treat you as one of my good friends. I've been cold recently to you is just because that firstly I'm stressed with alot of stuffs, and finally I don't wish to give you anymore false hope already. Sorry that I caused you so much trouble. Please forgive me.

Don't know why people around me are starting to be very emotional. I know that this year is not a good year to me, I've made lots of wrong decision and regretted making them. Mark (kor kor) told me to follow my heart and don't let what people say affect me. I'm trying my best to do so. I think I'm gonna start bringing a small note book around with me, so that I'll record down my bad points and take note of them so that I can work on them and change for the better. Kor also told me that saying is easy but proving what you say takes effort.

~IceCleric~