People only realize to treasure things when they are about to be gone or when they are gone, I am no different. How I wish I can have the power to control time and make time travel. I've so many things I've regretted doing.

2008 is coming! I don't wish to start my next year with regrets. What's done cannot be undone. Hence I'll throw away all my bad experience on the last day of this year! Next year gonna be better for me! Jia You ~IceCleric~!

Wah, can't wait! On 2nd Jan 08 I'll be in MI orientation camp! Even though I only can go for a day, yet I still look forward to it! ^^

~IceCleric~





Stop It! Stop It! I Don't Want To Hear It Anymore! It's Enough Already. I Already Settled Down My Feelings And Yet You Stirred It Up Again. Where's The Knife? Where's The Panadol? I Just Don't Want To See This World Again!

~IceCleric~


Yesterday, my clan leader from MI called me and infrom me about the things on 2 Jan 08. Wow, I'm so excited! However I only can go for the 1st day and no else, as my work haven't end yet.

I've gotten enough reason from you already. I won't stress you anymore and ask anything from you. I've learn alot this time, but learning is useless, you need to know how to apply it then that's the point of learning. From the start I already know that my chances are low. I also don't wish to fight to the end. ♫~blah blah blah...for those who don't know, just take it as I'm talking crap here..blah blah blah..♪~ LoLz

Now, the main thing I wanna focus is on my character bah...I must learn not to lose my temper easily and control my emotions. Even when I'm troubled, stressed or emotional, I must smile. =] Learning how to smile is my basics.

Finally I wanna thank those people who encouraged me when I'm feeling super down. Thanks, Patrick kor, Siang, Tim and others for helping me =]

~IceCleric~





How I wish that my wish number 6 on my list could be granted. However I only got a XL stuffed toy for Christmas this year. Christmas is the season of the joy of giving. Yet, this year I found no joy giving people presents. I gave and gave but not all came back to me. I don't expect that much though, but I just can't get happy this Christmas. Even though the cold war between my friend and I had gone back warm but the main spoiler was my heart and my body! Why when my heart falls sick, my body also follow suit? I'm gonna heal my own heart! IceCleric can do it! Then, I will start a new and a fresh 2008! Challenges here I come!

~IceCleric~





Actually my main aim yesterday,25/12/07 is to take a break from all my feelings. I gave a simple excuse to my parents of going to East Coast Park to cycle as a form of Christmas celebration this year. Actually, I don't even wants to cycle, I just want to go to the coast and sit there and just stare, maybe even thought of jumping down the coast. However my sisters and one of my sister's friend (he tagged along) are so into cycling that I can't say no; after all it's me who suggested to go East Coast Park to cycle.


I was very scared of the bike. I still got the phobia of my accident which happened at the first day of this year,1/1/07. However when I started cycling, it seems like my woes are gone. Maybe that's also a way for me to just don't think so much. However, my heart still longs for a coast for me to sit down and just went blank over there. Hence in the end, after cycling for about an hour, we just parked our bikes at the nearest coast we could find. I played the song Ji De, by Amei as I sat down on the coast. How many of you knows that when children are around, you can't have peace? Even worst, there was lots of flies there and I'm their target! I then decided to jump off the coast and walk towards the beach which is near by. There, I scribbled words on the sand.


We played awhile and headed back to return our bike and go for dinner. After dinner we walked by a catcher machine. Giving my luck a try, I decide to catch a soft toy. And...YAY! I got a toy in my first attempt! I was intoxicated!

The adults decided to bowl and the kids decided to visit the arcade on the second floor. I told the adults that I wish to try bowling once, and went up with the kids to play arcade.

The way my youngest sister and I play the DDR machine was a halirious. It's so noob! We can't even pass the second stage!
When I went down they told me that they have help me book a place and passed me the shoes. O.o I only told them I wanna try once, and they let me play whole game! Well, I only strike once(which was just lucky), most of the time I'm just washing the drain! (that's what Siang told me when your ball went into the drains at the corner.)

After everything on that day, I've come already come to a decision. My heart feels better now and I'm gonna start afresh! Don't know why, but I was really anticipating your reply that day. Your replies seems to come later and later, I just wondered why. Why am I still suffering in this pain?

~IceCleric~





I like my new song very much. It's call 死性不改　童声版. The original version is sung by Twins and Boyz in Cantonese. I don't know Cantonese though, but the original version is nice too. This version is re-sung by a child. The lyrics is very meanful! I keep blasting this song on my mobile phone. Sometimes I do tear abit when I listen and I even listen this song to sleep! In the meantime please enjoy this song!

Here's the lyrics, you can listen and sing along at the same time ^^
再见了我的最爱
你真的是我的唯一
我想你真的很想你
不知道你想我吗
其实我很烦恼
你知道吗
只是你看不到我
我应该懂得爱惜自己不要再去想念你
为什么我那么爱你我得不到回报
因为失去那种痛没有人知道
只有我一个人才感觉痛苦
你真的好自私啊
已经离我而去
我的心真的好痛
你感觉得到吗
真想给你知道我是多么的爱你
不要再逃避好吗

我爱你但也很恨你
可是我一直珍惜你
放弃你但我做不到
你知道我难受吗
我一心一意都是为你
而你却说我们有距离
我应该懂得爱惜自己不要再去想念你
为什么我那么爱你我得不到回报
因为失去那种痛没有人知道
只有我一个人才感觉痛苦
你真的好自私啊
已经离我而去
我的心真的好痛
你感觉得到吗
真想给你知道我是多么的爱你
不要再逃避好吗

我恨你自私恨你绝情恨你曾经放弃我
为什么你要我难过
你不肯接受我
但是我真的很后悔挽留不到你
我相信我难过我哭的感受
你知道那种感觉总是围绕着我
我试过不去想你但我真的难受
我只想告诉你我永远的爱你
我却忘记不了你

~IceCleric~


First, I want to apologize that IceCleric isn't writing any story today, cos he decided not to write anymore. SORRY to those who anticipated for the story.

I woke up yesterday night, shivering in my bed. I'm absolutely freezing cold! Something that is strange is that I got my blanket and my body was still feeling warm. Think IceCleric has gotten down with a fever already. No! Why does it happens to me during this festive season? I ain't enjoying any part of it!
Today I then woke up with super sticky mouth. =.= [Erm, I think is my saliva gone dry le bah?] Then, speaking was like super hard for me. I spoke but then no much of a voice came out. For a moment I thought I lost my voice already! Luckily I didn't as I can speak now. Then I do some wash up and went out to help in my father's store as today is the first day of the month of the Chinese calender. Wasn't in a good mood though. Partially is due to my sickness but mostly I still can't get over that thing. When I don't realize it, I will drift away and suddenly be so frustrated with myself.

Don't know why, yesterday I don't even dare to look into my kor's eyes when I talk to him. I also realized I've gotta change alot in my character. Slowly I realized that which things I gotta change. I'm trying my best to take note of it and apply what is right into my life. I'll show my kor that I'll change de! Wait and you will see! =]

I think I understand already. By Faith, I shall understand. What you chose is the right choice cos you followed your heart-that's what you always told me-and you are sure you will be happy with your choice. From your eyes though I see a slight regret but you followed your heart. Thanks for being honest with me. I'll get up on my feet and start walking again, don't worry for me anymore. I'm happy for you both being together. I really wish you both bliss from the bottom of my heart.

I saw blood, bleeding down a already shattered heart...that person must have died painfully.

~IceCleric~





"Ah choo!" Oh no! IceCleric has fallen ill le! He ask people to eat more vitamin C but then he, himself didn't eat any, therefore he fallen ill already. Today morning I was feeling heaty and my eyes are super heavy. Woke up with a slight headache. Just to say I'm just like a living dead in the morning.

Strange enough though, went I was about to go to church and in church, I don't feel any fatigue. Only after I leave church, I felt so weak.

Today's service was great. It was unexpected also, as pastor preached about Love. I felt that, that may be God is talking to me through the pastor.
"The more you seek love the more it runs away from you. However, the more you give your love away the more it comes back to you."
Well, today De Zhong, Jonathan (a friend De Zhong brought), Mark and Xuan (who are both late) came. Well, during the alter-call no one raise up their hands, felt so disappointed. I thought that I would cry today (not due to the presence of God but something else) but then I did not. That's maybe God telling me not to cry over spill milk anymore but to just be back the original IceCleric that I used to be. After the service, I just felt so emotional, so I just didn't follow my CG to have fellowship. Then saw De Zhong's mother and she gave me a drink, that's so nice of her.

Tomorrow, I think I'll write a story bah..cos its quite late tonight and my parents gonna sleep soon, hence I gotta off my computer already.

~IceCleric~






Once decision is made, there's no turning back. One had been hurt and the other gains the love. The decision is supposed to be told out this Sunday, 23/12/07 however it's made clear yesterday, Friday 21/12/07. It's obvious what the person chose. It's just that "A" decided to get out of this love triangle and give "B" a chance to experience the person's love. It was a hard decision for "A" yet he/she still said it to end this triangle relationship. "A" cried and became very emotional. Oh no! There's a service on Sunday, how can he/she hide this sadness in him/her?

Today went Christmas shopping and saw Jovan aka Koshiru at Plaza Singaupura's Kopitiam. It was quite strange that the call me then he said he saw me. Well, brought some presents, only spend around $40 plus buying gifts.

~IceCleric~





Just don't know why, recently I've been eating lots of sour grapes. Sour Sour Sour! Think the air around me is getting sour too already.
What happens when some one you like before come back to you (just when you are about to give up hope) and say he/she loves you and on the other hand you have fallen in love with another person? You are just sandwiched in between them. You gotta choose. 1 will get hurt and the other will get your love. Choose wisely






Recently the weather had turned extremely cold. It's been almost raining everyday. Remember to bring an umbrella when you go out. =] You don't wish to got caught in a rain don't ya? I know its kinda troublesome, unless you really got caught in the rain or just wait in a shelter for the rain to stop. Oh ya, gotta eat lots of vitamin C also. It's to boost your immune system, cos IceCleric heard that lots of people are feeling unwell already. Christmas is coming soon so don't fall sick ok? When you are unwell it spoils the fun, especially when its during the festive seasons. If the weather is getting too cold, I suggest you to wear thermal underwear!
As much as IceCleric likes to do miracles, to make it snow in Singapore, but he can't. His power isn't that strong to create snow in Singapore. Well then, there's no white Christmas this year!

~IceCleric~





Christmas is around the corner and there's something I wanna ask from Santa. You may call me childdish, but I still believe that there's Santa Cluse in this world. I know I've not been a good boy this year, getting myself into all sorts of trouble, but nevertheless, I still wish Santa will make my wishes come true.

1. a XL stuffed toy.
(Hamtaro, Doramon or Baby Looney Tunes character will do)

2. I-pod nano skins.
(My nano had been scratched badly, so I wanna cover up the scratches.)

3. Fancy key-chain.
(The key chain that I hung on my mobile phone dropped off already and now my mobile seems so empty without it.)

4. Apple I-Touch
(I know this seems to ambiguous already, but I still put it down though.)

5. PSP slim
(I know this seems to ambiguous already, but I still put it down though.)

6.Someone I wanna be with, maybe spend the Christmas night with me.
(Can't tell you all who wor!)

7. I-pod nano holder.
(My holder is old already I wish to get a new 1)

8. Any thing that is adorable!-Action City and Mini Toons have alot
(I love cute things <3)

9. A fancy tie and a collar shirt to go with it.

10. A External Hard Disk Drive.
(I wish to get this quite long ago, as my laptop don't have much memory left for me to use.)

11. Ear-phones
(my I-pod nano's gonna spoil soon, need to replace a new one)

12. Mac Book Pro
(Too ambiguous, don't think Santa's gonna bring me 1)

I'm broke! Oh no! What should I do? I won't get paid only after I've worked for a month. How am I suppose to buy Christmas presents for my friends? This year I'm planning to buy for quite a handful of people. How could get so much money? Iris, Melody, JunWei, Siang(brought), Xiong, Mark, Xuan, Arthur, Yong An (maybe)...
~IceCleric~





Started working yesterday and that post yesterday was done in my work place office. I'm doing the same today. Today let me introduce you my job.

I'm working at my Aunt's factory. She introduced me to this job. Its a temporary office job. Factory is located at First Lok Yang Road, which is near Tuas area there. Factory name is NC STAFLEX CO. PTE. LTD. In the morning there's a factory bus to fetch us here, heard that it's free of charge too.

Yesterday is my first day of work, and I'm loaded with work already. My work is actually not that simple as it looks. It's using Microsoft Excel key in the data. I need to type in manually the things written on the receipt into the computer. It consists more numbers then words, so I need to be familiar with the number pad. Think after my this job, I can play 8-key on Audition le! LoLz..
I starred at the monitor from 8.30am-5pm only taking a break at 12pm-1pm. It's kinda boring, and after the job I'm having a headache and my eyes feel like popping out. However, I've no choice as I can't quit half way through as it is a temporary job. I'll survive through this period!Why everytime do I get to quarrel with you?I can't control my emotions..

~IceCleric~





Don't Blame me if I made any spelling mistake today as I'm using the computer at my work office which don't have the spelling check function.

Since I'm working today, I pushed forward my Tuesday meeting to yesterday, Sunday-16/12/07. Went out with my kor, Mark to Plaza Singapura to watch the movie named The Golden Compass. The movie was nice, recommend to those people who like fantasy stories/movies. All in all, I found out that Nicoll Kidman actually acted in alot of movies, anyway she's beautiful also, gave me a sense of mature-ness. Anyway, the ending wasn't that nice, the left it an open ending which I think there will be part 2 of the movie.

Treated my kor Starbucks, which is to thank him for his help that time. When I'm down he always lends me a listening ear. Don't know why that day, kor de mood nt fixed. Sometimes down somtimes cheerful. I find it super hard to talk with him when he's down as he seems to be thinking of something deeply. Actually my kor gotta go attend the Star Awards as he has acted in the past as an extra, but then its sweet of him not going and accompany me go walk the streets. Thanks kor! I feel that I owe you lots!

Well, me told my kor something that made his mood swing totally down. I hate to see my kor down, where is the cheerful kor i've once known? Sorry that I souldn't said that to make you feel down, but if I don't say I'll also made you suffer in the end. However my intentions are not to hurt you or made u feel down, it's just purely for your info, don't even know that will made you super sad in the end.

Well, in the end I felt jubilent being with my very good kor! Don't know why I'm still smiling now.=P And kor, please don't mention about death in front of me angain! If not. next time I surely will slap you de! You won't die so fast! choy choy choy! Fianlly to the question you posted me yesterday, I still don't have an answer yet, Love and Health are equally important to me. The bible says that neither the mouth can say that he's more useful then the hand nor the hand can say he's more useful the then eyes. All are equally important to the human body. But I know when due time comes, I'll gotta choose either Health of Love and I don't really know which to choose now. Oh and the last answer to your question is Yes, I think I'm starting to like you more le. I really feel more happier to go out with kor then with the third person..
~IceCleric~





Sigh, next week actually I've planned for Mon and Tues. However this dam last minute thing made me canceled both my plans! Monday-> Go Kbox with Xiong, Siang and his cousins. Tuesday-> Reserved for my outing with Mark (kor kor). I really looked forward to these two plans, but then the job thing came.

It's actually a temporary job at my Aunt's factory, its working hours are from 8am-5pm and I get paid $7.30 per hour. It's a very good deal though, but then that means that my freedom is lost as I've gotta work Mon-Sat.

Finally to the third person:
I don't have the courage to tell you over the phone, but I know that you will read my blog, so I shall tell you through here. I've gotta end what I've started. I only really treat you as my good friend and nothing else, please don't develop your feelings further for me. I followed my heart and asked myself to think clearly what I wanted already. I don't have the time to commit. I don't want to treat you as a toy, call you out whenever I like. Hope you will understand me.

~IceCleric~





My horoscope for today:
Leo
While you're busy fighting for more control, you're losing focus on what matters.

Sorry for any spelling msitakes made for today's post, cos I'm using a outside comp, there's no spelling check function.

When on the MRT today I suddenly rembered alot of stuffs. I hate to remember them but they jus invaded my mind. Don't know why I sudden think of my first. We parted just because of lack of understanding, yet I still feel for the first. The second did something hurtful and we parted, I still have feel for the second also. Now as it come to past, a thrid came and tried it's luck, but the shattered pieces are still not mended yet.

I just want to tell the third that I really feel nothing even you have given in you all. All I felt was happy when I'm with you. I can only treat you as my best friend. It's not that I don't wanna start, it's just that I've thought through already; I can't cheat myself anymore.

~IceCleric~





My schedule is like so bombed with activities for the past week and this week. I don't think I can handle that much. The solution in my mind was just to run away. It only seems to be the best way I can cope with this situation.

I promised to commit back to church after my O' Levels but I just can't go with the flow. They are having VBS (Vacation Bible School) for the past week and this week. It requires you to stay in church for the whole day, 12pm-6pm, and all you do is there listening to the pastor whose on the stage preaching and copying down the notes. The breaks are far too short to relax my mind.

Kenichi came to Singapore and I've got to entertain him, its just returning his favor. When I was in Malaysia he brought me around. However, his coming clashes with with my VBS. What's made worst is that what he said really makes me stucked in between. He told me that he only knows me and he came to Singapore just because of me. This way, I felt that if I don't accompany him for this 5day trip, it'll become a let down to him. I don't wish to hurt anyone.

Lastly I want to tell this to the person whose waiting for me. Please don't give me pressure anymore. I'm so stressed. I know that you have been emotional recently, but I can't do anything. I just wanna tell you that I don't really feel anything at the moment. I just treat you as one of my good friends. I've been cold recently to you is just because that firstly I'm stressed with alot of stuffs, and finally I don't wish to give you anymore false hope already. Sorry that I caused you so much trouble. Please forgive me.

Don't know why people around me are starting to be very emotional. I know that this year is not a good year to me, I've made lots of wrong decision and regretted making them. Mark (kor kor) told me to follow my heart and don't let what people say affect me. I'm trying my best to do so. I think I'm gonna start bringing a small note book around with me, so that I'll record down my bad points and take note of them so that I can work on them and change for the better. Kor also told me that saying is easy but proving what you say takes effort.

~IceCleric~





VBS is tiring..it almost drain out all the energy in me..after the whole thing ended for that day, I was there experiencing a headache..
Pastor David Shearer's sermon was very profound, but I still managed to comprehend some. Now I know that the Old Testament and the New Testament in the bible is inter-related de!
Pastor Shearer's pronunciations is superb, think his oral for his O's surely get a grade of A1!

After VBS, which is around 6pm+ in the evening, I went out with Siang and Xiong to Vivo City to do some job hunting. Actually that day, Starbucks is giving away free coffee-I read it from the newspapers-at any outlet. I don't really know the reason why they want to do this. However it is only limited from 5pm-7pm. When we reached Vivo City, its half past seven already..Felt a little depressed that I don't get to drink my favorite Mocha.
We had our dinner at the Kopitiam located at basement area. Then our job hunting trip begins!
Here are where we went in and got our application form successfully (Siang didn't get any of the application though, he said he'll be busy with his new home stuffs so he thinks that he won't be working):
1.Singtel
2. Sake Sushi (Habour Front Centre) -REJECTED-
3. NewUrbanMale (Me only, Xiong don't want)
4. The Mussels Guys
5. Fig and Olive
6. Toy R Us
7. Action City
Think that's all..Actually wanted to work in Starbuck de, but then they want us to atleast commit 7months and above. The manager said that there will be a training month of about 1 month. Some shops told us to go to their headquarters to ask and apply, some told us that if we going Polytechnic they will hire us, others said that the minimum age they are hiring is 18.
After all the searching, I felt my headache coming back again. Was all tired out..

~IceCleric~





Yoz! I'm fianlly back!

Genting trip was fun! I drew some comic of my own think I'll post it some other time bah!
The funniest memory of this trip is with someone. I still can remember XT there laughing like mad and Xiong there imitate it until very similar.

The Theme Park trip was fun! I really enjoyed it! Felt so carefree when I ride the swing. As if all my troubles are being spin off..

I brought a lot of things back, even though I didn't went KL. XT was there very emotional, as SC didn't come and accompany her.

~IceCleric~