So sian..
As my previous post, had said, I'm feeling super emotional. I came to realize that how rotten a person I'm. I look so ugly- fat and cos of my eyes, I ain't sociable, I just talk what ever I want to and hack care who they are, ain't any joker type, SELFISH, fuzzy, etc..
I just felt that I sucks to the core!
Don't know is this a start of my depression? Better hope not.

I may appear happy and idiotic on the outside, but the real me inside is just crying.


Today, due to some misunderstanding, I threw my shoes at him. The whole class was stunned even my Physics teacher, Mr Alvin Lau. I was called to one side by Mr Lau and along with the other guy who I throw my shoes at. He got fucked up and slam the chair on the floor. This made Mr Lau lost his temper..scoldings..then we had to meet him after school to settle.

I'm trying my very best to tolerate, however I just reached my limit, and flare my anger. It was actually a trigger waiting to be pulled. Sigh..and the person who pull the trigger wasn't him but his friend who seat beside him. I felt really guilty after that. Apologized to those people involved in this. My heart seems heavier then before, I just lost my temper and became a "incredible hulk"! My good friend Gavin was seating beside me, stunned, very long didn't see me become like this already. When I am in sec 3, I had tried my very best to change my personality already, but now it seems to failed.

I just really hate who I really am. Why?